on good and bad

"some days are good, some days are bad", - this is what i published a couple of days on my


, which i have recently started using again, by the way. the phrase is simple and even basic, but it is profound and real. nothing good and nothing bad lasts forever, there is always something else happening, there are always changes. i have already


about this a couple of posts ago and i thought i cannot have another post with this mood so soon, i needed something positive and motivational, something you can read and feel good about. wel, guess what? this is not happening. i have been thinking, thinking, thinking and then i read this


on medium. 

"tell us who you are, and tell it honestly. everything has already been said by people much smarter than us. the only surprising story you have left is your own. we don’t want to hear about the amazing you who figured it all out. we want to hear about the real you. the one who doubts, tries and sometimes fails.", - this was it! i felt like someone shook me and i woke up. o f c o u r s e! why would i pretend and write a positive post, if this was not real? if i felt differently? i mean, I LOVE motivational reading. i am planning to tell you about a couple of self-help books, that i really enjoyed, but it is also a relief to find out that you are not the only one who struggles. the truth is that we all do. every single person has something good and something bad going on in the life. every single one! this is how this world is built and how it works. no matter how much you try, there is no way you can change it. however, what you can change is your attitude.

attitude. i love this word. in russian, which i use on a daily basis, there is no analogue, which would mean exactly what "attitude" does. so, whatever happens, you are in control of how you face the situation, how you react to it. you can tell me, yourself and someone else that "if i could change my thoughts, i would have done it a long time ago", but you are wrong. you simply do not know yet how powerful your mind is, but you have a lifetime to figure it out. my goal - to become that person, who is ready. just ready. i do not want to freak out because of every little upsetting, disappointing thing that happens, i want to accept it and move forward. yes, some things are way too big and important to ignore them, to not feel hurt and upset, sometimes loose faith in yourself and the world, but an essential part of this whole process is to not feel sorry for yourself for too long, but stand up and start everything all over again or start something else. never stop, never give up - this is what i am teaching myself these days, this is what i am saying again and again in my mind.

i have never been good at sports, but i like the comparison of our mind muscles to our body muscles, because they do work in the very same way - you tell them what to do and they do it. at first, it is painful and hard, you think that you cannot do it, but if you have a goal - you go on, you keep on fighting and you do not stop until the moment you see results, which motivate you to work even harder. it is the same thing with our minds. on a daily basis my head is haunted with a list of harsh negative thoughts:

  • i am a total failure and i will always remain being one (i am, naturally, ashamed to admit it publically, but if i made a decision to be honest in my writing - i cannot act differently, so i am practising being brave too);

  • no matter how hard i try, i won`t achieve what i dream of;

  • it is getting worse every day and i can do nothing about, because remember who i am? go back to point one to refresh your memory.

this is painful. i doubt myself and i make everything worse. I DO. does this make any sense? am i not the person who is supposed to be my biggest supporter? exactly! i should be doing an opposite. i should be nurturing an idea that i am capable of whatever i aspire to do, that i am good enough for it and that i can get better every single day (again, thanks to my own efforts). girls tend to say to each other: "if you do not love yourself, how someone else will and why?". same here, but it is not about love, it is about confidence and belief in yourself. you should be your number one fan, you should be full of hope, you should always know that there is another chance. you can try again and again and again. despite all circumstances, this set cannot be useless:

  • positive attitude;

  • strong will;

  • hard work;

  • confidence;

  • persistence.

when i think about the world, i realize that every second something horrible happens. it is challenging and painful for someone, not every problem has an ending, people hope for, but they fight. is it easy? of course, no. from a side, it may seem like it is, because they are doing it, but, most probably, every action is almost unbearable. they just have no choice, so they put in all effort they have and take one day at a time. actually, i was in a case like this - i was challenged this or that way, it was very hard for me, but i did not show it, so everyone started seeing me as this strong creature, who is always fine and does not need any support or help. guess what? i was troubled as hell, but was not the one to share it. i have always thought that someone was supposed to find out, ask questions, be with me, try to help. the more i live, the clearer it becomes that if you do not ask for help - you should not expect it. this is simply unfair towards the people in your life. anyway what i was trying to say is that every single person struggles and makes a daily choice to either keep on moving forward or give up. i choose the first one. i wake up in the morning and i get rid of those negative thoughts, which have been in my head for wa-a-a-y too long). i plant new seeds and i take care of them, they are my positive attitude. the one that will one day become as natural for me as a negative one has been. it won`t be a quick and smooth road, but i am sure i will get there. i want it, so i know i will be capable of achieving it. and if any of it is familliar to you, believe me, you can manage it all too <3

images taken from